Laugh out Loud! - Jansi 

My Neighbor's wife texted me, 'I am new on whatsapp.. Any idea what does IDK, LY, TTYL mean...?'

I replied : 'I don't know, Love You, Talk To You Later !'

She replied : 'No problem. I'll ask you later... Love you too...'

Height of "literacy" in Kerala:

A beggar was crying.

A policeman passing by asked him, 'What is the matter?'

Beggar: Matter is anything that occupies space and has mass

A little boy was in a bus eating a chocolate, then he took another one and then another ...

A man next to him said,

"Do you know that too much of it will damage your teeth??"

The boy replied,

"My grandfather lived for 132 years"

The man asked ,

"Was it because of eating chocolate?"

The boy replied,

No, he was always minding his own business !

Dad gets upset when he sees his son busy stitching a button to the trouser. He says.....!!

"Son I got u married, u have a wife for such things, I can't believe that u still have to stitch a button to your own pant".

Son replies

" No dad it's her pant".....

Photographer Santa was focusing on the dead body's face in a funeral function.

Suddenly all the relatives started beating him - why?

He said "SMILE PLEASE"